My Darling Noodle

I'm on the as-close-to-zero-carb-as-I-can-get diet. Toom has been working in the kitchen trying to come up with dishes for me to eat. (In a country where food is defined as "a mixture of heavily-spiced vegetables in a broth, served with rice", she's doing admirably.)

• Fried ham cubes, egg, swiss cheese, onions and garlic salt.
• Steak strips sauteed with onion, garlic, and mushroom, clouded over with black pepper.
• Chicken breast brushed with peanut sauce.

This diet makes me realize how much carbohydrate has made me its bitch: All that great food at my beck and call, and what I want more than anything is a single, beautiful, tender, steaming hot, pearly white rigatoni noodle... covered with a sweat tomato sauce.

And a tall glass of orange juice... oh mother of mercy.