Moving On

I'm in The Philippines now and getting settled in. Check out my new blog at http://junglejil.blogspot.com/. Stop by and see the further adventures of Jil Wrinkle!

Update On The Move

Well, things are slowly getting smoothed out here for the upcoming move. Epril and I will be leaving Pattaya, Thailand on March 1st, moving to Cagayn De Oro in The Philippines. We've got the house (see below), and the view (see below). The cable is connected, the phone is working, and my landlord has just finished giving the inside of house some TLC, and everything is sparkling and ready for our arrival.


As for the blog, this one isn't going to be updated that much anymore. However, it will be here for posterity for all eternity as far as I know. I've got a new blog set up, "Jungle Jil" (name chosen by Epril, actually) which is currently sitting empty, waiting for the first entries. Once I get moved and settled in, I'll start posting again.

Got My Taxes Done, Thank You Turbotax

I had started off my tax preparations this year by going to H&R Block and having a tax preparer assigned to me. I've always had somebody else prepare my taxes because I've always been convinced that the vagaries and mysteries of living overseas and claiming the Overseas Tax Credit are best left to a professional.

However, after my H&R Block highly-qualified and official Assigned Tax Preparer proceeded to blow me off for an entire week while I sent e-mails asking "Did you get this?" "Can you do that?" "Do you need this?" "Did I mention I'm in a hurry?" I decided to go look at Turbotax online.

Man, I feel dumb: Doing my taxes by myself was easy. Turbotax asks, and you answer. The site has been programmed for every contingency, and together, Turbotax and I skipped blihely through the Overseas Tax Credit, the Physical Presence Test, and the accompanying forms. Forms? Actually, I didn't see any forms at all... just little boxes to type in and buttons to make selections.

So anyway, after completing my forms (to see if I could), I went ahead and fired H&R Block and sent my taxes via Turbotax. (Total cost, $65 for state and federal taxes.)

My tax forms were instantly rejected by the IRS and New York State: In order to "e-file" your taxes, you have to have an "e-signature", which is simply typing in the amount of money you made in 2006, after deductions... called the "Adjusted Gross Income". Since I didn't make more than $82,500 in 2006 (the value of the Overseas Tax Credit), my Adjusted Gross Income was zero. The IRS and New York State tax computers can't have you submitting an e-signature of "0" apparently.

Anyway, Turbotax notified me by e-mail, I went to the site, the Turbotax computer explained the problem, automatically adjusted my tax papers, filled out an extra little form for me to sign and drop in the mail, and then filed my taxes again.

Sorry. I'm sure that most of you reading have been doing this for 4 or 5 years now. You'll have to excuse my wide-eyed enthusiasm... I'm new here.

Well, in the past 3 years when other people have filed my taxes for me, something has always gone wrong and my tax refund has always been waylaid in one form or another by one party or another. If anything goes wrong this year... and it probably will... at least (or unfortunately) it will be my fault.

World's Best Maid For Hire

I'll be leaving Thailand soon, and it is time to help Maid Go find a new home to clean.

As you know, Maid Go has been working for me for 2½ years... an eternity for domestic help in Thailand. Quite simply, she is as reliable and dedicated a maid as you can ever hope to find. In addition, she has her own motorbike, and is more than happy to drive all over Pattaya for you running chores, doing the shopping, and paying bills. She even is really good at reminding you in advance when things need to be done. She knows how to cook a few really good pasta dishes, and lots of different Thai dishes. She learns new receipes that you might like pretty easily.

Go is startingly neat. She will take great care of your wardrobe, keep the entire house inside and out very clean. She will weed the garden, clean the gutters, and do heavy work as well.

Finally, did I mention that she is a masseuse? Trained at Wat Po, the world capital of Thai massage. That's really handy to have around after a stressful day, believe me.

So, if you are interested in hiring Maid Go, either as a live-in, 24-hour domestic assistant, or a once-or-twice-weekly cleaner-upper, let me know in the comments section. Trust me here if you're not a big reader of this blog: If I didn't think Maid Go wasn't the best maid you will ever find, I wouldn't be writing all of this.

Back From Vacation

I arrived back from The Philippines at 3:00 a.m., and now I'm up and ready to start my (almost) new year. I've taken over 300 photos, and will try to get the best ones up over the next few days. My new year's resolution is to work harder at work, so that is my priority, but I'm equally anxious to get the photos up as well... so I won't forget you either.

Blug Opdate

I've changed some things around on the blog... hope you don't mind. Some things are gone, other things are added.

I've taken away: The satellite map, the clock, the weather forecast, the currency exhcnage ticker, and the popup-preview gizmo. They caused about 90% of the blog loading time, but were items that were generally not used or necessary. If you miss them, let me know... but I don't think anybody really desparately needs the stuff.

I've added: A complete running list of restaurants I've reviewed and tourist attractions I've visited over on the right side column. (Scroll around a little bit to see them perhaps.) This will be updated every week as I add new entries.

I've adjusted: The number of posts on the main page. It's gone from 50 posts to 8 days worth of posts. I had a lot of posts on the main page before because it gave me more google search hits, which improves readership. Now that I have the readers I wanted, I'm focusing (once again) on improving loading time.

Oh, as always, messing around with the coding always means that something that I haven't noticed is probably busted. If you see something on this blog failing to function properly (besides me, that is), please note it in the comments section.

Happy 2,000th

The post for Steve below was this blog's 2,000th post.

Memorial For Steve Blumenthal on the 14th

Steve's photo credit:
Photo By LoveLife (JKConsultants)This coming Friday marks the 1-year anniversary of the death of Steve Blumenthal, one of my best friends, owner of TQ2, and one of the nicest guys to ever live here in Pattaya. In an effort to pay respect to Steve's life and the wonderful effect he had on so many of us, several of his friends have worked all year long raising money for a memorial for Steve.

They have raised 90,000 baht, and this Friday at 4:30, Steve's friends will be gathering at the Mercy Center orphanage to distribute a vast truckload of household items for the children which that money has purchased. Everyone is invited to attend, and if you haven't donated to Steve's memory already, the opportunity to donate at the orphanage will be made available if you chose to.

The Mercy Center is reached by taking Soi Nong Yai, which is opposite and just north of Pattaya North Road, and driving along until you turn right on Soi 8, past "Park Hill" until you see the place on your left. (See the map below for a general description... click for larger version.)
For those unable or unwilling to transport themselves, you can meet at Secrets Bar on Soi 14 off Walking Street at 3:30 p.m. to catch a ride at 4:00 p.m.

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Even better: Here is a Google Maps to get you there.

View Larger Map

J.I.P. Request To Readers

OK everyone... time for some input from J.I.P readers.

If you know of a restaurant that you think should be reviewed here on Jil In Pattaya, I would like you to write in about it. I'm interested in any restaurant that is either a great deal, some particularly outstanding recipes, or is a fine dining establishment, or has some other notable standout feature. Just put your request in the comments section at any time under any post, and I'll give it a thought.

Also, if you know of a tourist attraction that you think other people might like to know about, and is within 30 or 40 miles of Pattaya, and can be visited in a single afternoon (or at most a single day), I'd be happy to stop by for a visit and then write about it here.

Finally, if you are aware of an upcoming event in Pattaya (shows, carnivals, races, charity events) that you think might be of interest, I'll be happy to look into going to those as well.

It's not that I'm running out of ideas in the near future for either restaurants or tourist spots or other events to go to each week... but I figure that perhaps my readers might have some good ideas of their own, and it can't hurt to take requests.

So, anytime you want, if you think of something in the Pattaya area that you particularly enjoy, and think others might as well, let me know and I'll look into getting the J.I.P. posse together and visiting sometime. (Don't forget directions, internet links, or other helpful information with your recommendations.)

Thanks in advance for your input!

A Story About Jil

Something a little different: I was thinking about this last night, and decided it would be worthwhile sharing; kind of a "get to know your blogger" post.

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When I graduated from college, there was only one thing I was certain of: That I was going to be rich, successful, and have everything life could offer. I had no idea how... but I was really certain. I was 24 years old, and knew it all.

The first thing I did upon graduating from college was to head south, to a large city in the southern United States. I arrived without much money, but I bought a beat up car, found a shared apartment in the suburbs, made some friends, and got a job as an assistant manager at a restaurant.

Soon, I came up with what I thought was a great idea. With all great ideas, it takes some work before it yields results. With a little bit of savings, I left my job as the assistant manager, and went to work on my idea. When my savings ran out, I relied on the charity and credit of my friends. Soon the engine on my car went, and my friends started to drift away, tired of helping me. I still clung to my idea.

Eventually, I had to admit that my idea was not a good idea after all. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It turned out to be a monstrous mistake. Burned out, bummed out, I retreated to my room in my apartment and sat there for about a week, fantasizing that all was well, and another shot at success was right around the corner.

The guy that I was living with eventually came and said, "I let you go rent free when I thought that this idea of yours might work out. That's not the case anymore, so it's time we say goodbye." Another friend, the last friend I had, the one person who would still do me a favor, came and picked me up, and with 2 cardboard boxes filled with my belongings, he gave me a ride to the center of the city and dropped me off in front of the YMCA, and drove off never to be heard from again. I had $8.

The cheapest room at the YMCA was $15 per night, but the people at the front counter offered it to me for $8, knowing that was what I had. I turned them down, thinking that my $8 would be better spent on food. Out the door I went.

People say that boot camp or jail is a great learning experience... where you really discover the strength of your soul, or the content of your character. I've done both, and I've got a better one: Try being alone, hungry, broke, without a single clue of where to go, what is going to happen, or even what the next hour of your life (forget about the next day, week, or year) is going to be like. You learn a lot about yourself in a moment like that.

Anyway, it was about 8 hours later... about 3:00 in the morning... that I found myself — more tired than I ever had been before in my life, after having dragged 40 pounds of cardboard boxes about 4 miles, not having eaten in 3 days — in front of a 30-bed church-run homeless shelter.

I don't know why, but when I was a kid, and to this day, whenever I hurt myself by doing something stupid, I kind of embraced the pain I was experiencing as a sort of self-inflicted punishment... a reminder of my stupidity. After falling off my bicycle, I would hold my sore wrist at the most painful point, grimacing, and reminded myself that this was what happened to stupid people who didn't secure the ramp properly before jumping off of it. I maximized my suffering in order to ensure that I learned from the mistake that had caused it.

That is what I did at this point in my life. I embraced the situation I found myself in as punishment for my stupidity in my ill-planned idea, my mistaken belief in my infallibility, and errors in judgment that brought me to this point. I could have improved my situation at any point, taken my brains and skills and college degree and somehow struggled my way back up to a job, home, car, and bank account, but instead I stayed at that homeless shelter for a year, pumping gas at a nearby gas station for minimum wage as penance.

In the end, it ruined me financially: My student loans, credit cards, car payments, taxes, and personal obligations all were wrecked, my drivers license was expired, and I was basically about as S.O.L. as a person in America could get, and to this day I'm still recovering from it. But, at the same time, I gained a lot of important experiences and knowledge that I really needed. I learned the value of things, what is important and what isn't; I learned how to stand up for myself, and how to empathize with others. I got to know criminals and pastors and gangsters and fags and some of the biggest assholes and cheats and losers the world has to offer in that shelter, and how to deal with them. I got to see how luck and fate play a big part in life, and how none of us are immune from it. I learned to forgive myself for the mistakes I had made, and how to get past them. I could say that I grew up, but that would be a lie: There were still mistakes to come and lessons to be learned. However, I did learn that I wasn't bullet-proof; that I was human, vulnerable to mistakes, and beset with limitations.

Definitely for me, the first step to starting to live in reality was to experience the harshest reality of them all.

Quick Trip Update

I'm back from The Philippines, as is Epril. We arrived at 3:00 a.m., and after a brief sleep, I am up and at 'em at 9:00 a.m.

The unfortunate news is that upon arriving in Manila, I discovered that my camera had died... wouldn't even show the smallest spark of life. There will be no photos of this trip. Murphy's law dictated that on the most picturesque, photogenic voyage of my lifetime to date, my camera should die.

I have to do work this morning, take Epril out at noontime, get in more work this afternoon and evening, and then perhaps I'll get the first (and maybe second) day of my trip posted below... keep an eye out and see what happens.

Thursday Babe Blogging: Online Project Edition

Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, today we have the unveiling of the "online project" which I have been mentioning for the last 3 or 4 weeks on this blog. The online project is also this week's Babe of the Week: Epril from the Philippines.
I met Epril online last month, and we have been chatting and video conferencing and telephoning each other every day since. I, like hundreds of my fellow Pattaya expats, have decided to go find a Filipina. I'm flying over to Manila tonight, then going down to the southern city of Cagayan de Oro for a fun-filled weekend with my new-found companion, and — assuming everything is as good in person as it is online — we will be coming back to Pattaya together on Monday.

So, allow me to explain my decision to choose a girl from The Philippines:

First and foremost, it is about communication. I have learned more about Epril in the month we have known each other than I ever learned about Pui in the 18 months we were together. I have chatted with Epril's entire family, who all speak English... whereas I could barely communicate with Pui's family. Epril understands me, understands the details of our relationship, and generally knows what to expect... as do I.

I put a lot of effort into learning the Thai language, and I speak it better than 99% of the expatriates in Thailand. It still wasn't enough in the end. A lack of understanding and a lack of communication with Thai girls (when I strive for perfect understanding and great communication) are the first reason I have chosen a Filipina.

Second, it is about culture and attitude. I had no problem with the Thai mindset in general, but with Pui, the devil was in the details: The lack of real interest in putting together a coherent plan for her future, my future, Pot's future; the lack of caring about things that are not of Thailand; and the impression I got that no matter how long we stayed together, I would still be "farang", and still be simply "he who gives me money."

Epril, on the other hand, has the opposite values: She can tell you exactly what she wants out of life, out of our relationship; she has a keen interest in cultures other than the one she was raised in, and can toss out a "Simpsons" quip, or the lyrics from Beach Boys songs; and she figures the money she makes from working will be more than enough to keep her family back home happy.

Yes, of course, I'm sure that I could have found a Thai version of Epril, and I'm sure that girls like Pui live in The Philippines, but as any person who is knowledgeable of both countries will tell you: Somebody like Epril is the exception, not the rule, in Thailand, and somebody like Pui is the exception, not the rule, in The Philippines. Quite simply, I am facing a 10-to-1 Pui-to-Epril ratio in Thailand (and that would actually be a 100-to-1 Pui-to-Epril ratio in Pattaya), and I've decided to better my odds.

Which leads me to my final, albeit least-important reason I'm choosing a girl from The Philippines: To merely hunt in a different direction. I've had four relationships here in Thailand: From a perky, witty college student with a blossoming modeling career to a plain-faced, simple rice farmer... They all seemed to represent different variations on a recurring theme of frustration. If I am to encounter problems or difficulties in my upcoming relationship, I only hope they are of a different sort.

Anyway, I leave tonight from Bangkok, and should be back at my desk on Tuesday morning, Pattaya time (Monday night, America). Pictures and stories of my (and Epril's) adventure will be forthcoming.

On A Personal Note

Back on August 11th, Pui left. Today marks a complete month she has been gone. I won't get into the details, but we had an argument, and she decided that that argument was enough to end our 18-month relationship.

That was her choice... but also implicit in that choice was the choice to take her 5-year-old son, Pot, away from the only home he had known for 18 months, the only family he had known for 18 months, and the only emotional security he had known in his entire life. In her leaving, Pui chose to ignore Pot's education, his future, his well-being, and his happiness. She chose to move into a run-down, filthy, closet of an apartment with Pot, and her younger brother, and she chose to go work in a bar at night while her brother works at night as a security guard, leaving Pot in the hands of God-knows-who... watched after, I'm sure, but without his mother, father (me), grandmother (Maid Go) or anybody else caring for him and loving him. Pui chose to ignore Pot's security and upbringing. That is the entirety of what Pui chose.

I want to have children. I expected to have them with Pui. While there might have been room for reconciliation after our fight — even with her having moved out — her consideration of Pot in all this was awful. Her values and decisions and discretion showed me that she is simply a bad mother. If this had happened after we had children together, then that could have been MY child being taken out of my house to spend his nights without his family, having his future destroyed so that Pui wouldn't have to defend herself in the arguments she caused. Given the possibility of losing my own child in such a way, it is just as well that she is gone, and just as well that she stays gone.

Yes, of course, I had a role in this as well. There are two sides in any argument. I made mistakes too; but my mistakes did not include a dismissal of our relationship over some heated words. For both Pui's and Pot's sake... for all of my caring for both of them... I was not going to let a moment's anger destroy 18 months of a generally wonderful life together — unlike Pui. Despite my problems and frustration with some things Pui did during our time together (and the arguments those things caused) ending our relationship never crossed my mind.

I cared for Pot like my own son, and I still regret his mother's decision, but what I have learned about Pui — and what that means for Pot — is beyond my control. I wish I could help Pot, and get him out of the awful life his mother has chosen for him; but that would mean taking Pui back and that would mean risking my unborn children at some point in the future to that same life which Pot faces now. I have to let Pot go for the sake of the family I want to have someday.

I'm not depressed, enraged, or emotionally injured. That is simply not me. For about 3 hours after Pui left, I was kind of numb... but Maid Go was there to lift my spirits, Mike and Riza were there to point out the positives, Willie was there to confirm that my thinking was right, and Bob was around that very night to take me out on the town to dandle a few pretties on my knee in a light-hearted attempt to help me forget. Like I said: My only regret was losing Pot, and there is nothing to be done there. For Pui, I have only sad and regretful contempt.

I'm turning off comments for this post, because I don't want condolences or pick-me-ups; I don't want people taking this opportunity to bad-mouth Thai women in general, or Pui in particular; I don't want comments mocking me or my choice of who I had hoped to share my life with; I don't want relationship advice or been-there-done-that anecdotes; I don't want to answer questions or provide any more details. Suffice it to say that we all make mistakes: I was just fortunate that my mistake came to light when it did.

Sorry

Sorry about the non-existent postings over the last 3 or 4 days. This has been a hectic week for me: With the training that I had to go through taking up Tuesday and Wednesday, I fell way behind on work, which I've been working on making up all Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

In between times, I've had another sort of on-line project that I've been working on, the nature of which will be revealed here on J.I.P. at the end of the month. You will be surprised, I'm sure.

I've got several daily reports, a restaurant review, and lots of Pattaya News to get caught up on as well, and hopefully those will get posted sooner or later. Keep checking back... I'm going to get them up eventually.

Shit... I just realized I even missed my Thursday Babe Blogging from last week. That hurts.

Anyway, apologies again. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled blogging in the next 24–36 hours.

That Was Weird

I called Stan today to see if he was back from his vacation in The Philippines. He answered his phone, while sitting on a bar stool in Angeles City. Somehow, I dialed his number in Thailand and reached him in The Philippines. I wonder how that happened?

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UPDATE:

Once again, one of my readers fails to conceive of the possibility that I might actually be as smart as he is: Of course it's roaming. Jeez. So allow me to explain my confusion: Two miles into Laos, Cambodia, and Malaysia and you can't reach the Thai cellular system, and none of those countries offers roaming to any Thai phone that I've ever seen. However, with the same phone that won't work a mile into Vientienne or Poipet, you can fly 5 hours to a completely different country, and get roaming service on an international line. It's like flying from Los Angeles to Panama, and having your phone ring there, but not being able to get a call in Tijuana.

More important question: I wonder who picks up the cost of the international call?

By Request: How To Leave Comments On Blogs

Somebody (anonymously, natch) asked me to show everyone how to put up comments without using the "anonymous" moniker.

So, for those of you who don't want to leave anonymous comments, but also don't want to take the time to create a blogger account (which would allow you to create your own profile, add a photo of yourself, put down general information like where you are from, et cetera, et cetera... just click on "View My Complete Profile" on the right column of this page to see my own), then follow these instructions:

In the comment section, click on "Other".

Type in the name you want to use. (The web page is optional.)

Type in your comment.

Click on "Publish your comment."

Thailand Definitely Seems To Be Blocking Blogspot

It certainly does look like Thailand is blocking all blogspot blogs for some reason. (See here, here, here, here.)

I'm thinking about moving to a custom domain, but if the blog is still hosted by blogspot.com, that probably won't get my anywhere. Well, we'll see. If I suddenly stop blogging, at least you will know why. However, for the meantime, I still can access blogger.com (the publishing side of blogspot.com) and post to my blog... I just can't view my blog itself.

(The Tuesday Thai Tutorial is on hold because that particular posting really needs me to go and proofread the finished product and check formatting before putting it out there for everyone to read... so sorry about that.)

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UPDATE:

I remembered that I can view my blog as a preview through the blogger template editor, so at least now I have a way to view my blog, and can access comments that way as well, although it's all a bit inconvenient.

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UPDATE:

It was as I expected: Thailand was trying to block one blog (the blog of a political advocacy group) and instead blocked all blogs on the blogspot domain. Amateurs.

Blogspot Down

I haven't been able to view my blog on Blogspot.com (or any other Blogspot.com blog) since I got home last night, and still can't. However, I can still post to my blog (via Blogger.com). I don't know what this is all about. With Thailand and the internet these days though, I can imagine.

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UPDATE:

It looks like it is just my DSL blocking Blogspot. When I switch over to dialup, my blog loads just fine.

Quick Update

It's just after midnight past Wednesday, and I'm back from my visa run in Penang. (All went well.)

I've got a weekend of photos and stories from Petchabun, and 36 hours of photos and stories from Penang, plus a Tuesday Thai Tutorial that need to be put up... about 3 or 4 hours of free time which I can spare once I've put in a fair day's work.

Trust me: I want to see all of that up on my blog as much as you do, but the stuff that pays the bills comes first. (I shall now hold my breath while I wait for readers' offers to pay me for blogging to arrive in the comments section.)

Talk to you soon, y'all.

Just A Thought

Since I "work the night shift" in America, I handle a lot of Emergency Room accounts. I've noticed that the emergency rooms are now brimming with angry, depressed, and odd people sent in by parents and spouses for psychiatric evaluation... and the ER doctors are much less likely to take a chance by putting these people back on the streets than they were before.

Usually when somebody goes psycho, people who knew him/her will say, "Oh, there were a few signs here and there." However, nobody in the past has ever been described by so many people as being so unhinged, been perceived as so dangerous before going on a rampage as we are seeing in the recent news. As a result, America is now super-sensitive about "The Signs"... and are sending people off for "A&R" (as it is called in medspeak — Assessment and Referral) in huge numbers.

That's probably a good thing, of course. I'm just pointing it out.