Friday, July 20, 2007

Henry J. Bean's Restaurant Review

Not quiet enough, not American enough.


Henry J. Bean's, located at
the North end of Beach Road
at the Amari Resort Hotel
Henry J. Bean's is one of those restaurants that you go past, and instantly form several assumptions about the place. Nestled in the lap of the towering Amari resort hotel, sitting on a broad lawn at the respectable end of Beach Road, looking not at all unlike a Confederate plantation manor, you can guess the place is a pricey, fancy, themed, tourist-targeted restaurant.

Henry J Bean's is definitely a theme restaurant, but it sort of misses the mark: Gas-station chic is the look they were going for, with shiny new (but artificially distressed) Shell Oil and World-War-2 era Coke advertisements... a vision of 50's America that never really existed, and... admidst the fancy architecture and cabinetry... is a look that seems even more misplaced.

The clientele on the night I was there was primarily Thai people. (Tourists probably head for more "local" restaurants, and the expatriate crowd obviously have their reasons for not coming.) My guess is that this restaurant (with its Fillipino band) is the starting-off spot for well-to-do Thai people, before heading for the locals' nightspots on Third Road.


The band was good, and the music was
fine, but Stan and I, sitting next to each
other, had to talk in almost a shout in
order to hear ourselves talk.
The main restaurant is a big two-level ampitheater facing a stage. First law of Henry J. Bean's: If you are going there to eat, and you see the band on the stage, turn around and come back another time... if you feel like having a conversation. The music selection was fine (lots of oldies), and the band was talented, but the volume was far too loud for a restaurant. (However, knowing Thai people as I do... who seem to be the restaurant's primary patrons... I'm sure the volume was just right.) If you do come in and want to eat while the band is playing, head to the bar section, and around to the right: There is a seating section there, which is the only place in the restaurant that is not "right next to the speakers".

The prices were a little expensive, but I was prepared for higher. Most of the entrees are around 250-400 baht. However, drinks are pricey, with small (0.25L) draft beers being 100 baht, and mixed drinks 160 baht.

Stan had the extra-large steak (Stan always has steak) for 550 baht, which he said was fine... but still insists Cafe New Orleans has the best steak in Pattaya. I had pumpkin soup for an appetizer (180 baht) which was very good, and the "ribs & wings" platter for a price of (I think... sorry... lost my notes) 280 baht.


The ribs (with chicken wings hidden
underneath) were not as good as Bob's,
which are not rubbery or tough.
Unfortunately, I didn't like the ribs very much. The meat was rubbery, and had to be pried off the bone with straining teeth and both hands, and was soaked with a thick, solid layer of bar-be-que sauce hiding any other taste. (However, the ribs that they used sure were bigger, meatier, and altogether different than Bob's. I'll have to ask him about that.)

The girls ate from the Thai menu, and had pork bits and vegetables for 250 baht.

The bill in total (6 drinks, 1 appetizer, and 3 entrees) came to 2,185 baht, tax and tip added in beforehand. A little bit expensive (mostly because of the drinks) and definitely far from the best meal deal in town. Add to that the loud music; service that, while satisfactory, was not outstanding; the tacky decor; and the food that was pretty much average... and you have a restuarant that you can go ahead and leave to the rich Thai people, who don't know any better.

(After dinner, Stan and I headed back to his house, where we polished off the bottle of Bully Hill Foch red wine that I brought back from America. Now that was nice.)

4 comments:

Brunty said...

Wow Jil. That is around 3 weeks of my food budget. I am a tight bastard though.

Next time I am in Pattaya I at least know where to go and not to go as you give really good and truthful reviews even of your friends places. No BS.

Great work mate.
Brunty

Anonymous said...

"and you have a restuarant that you can go ahead and leave to the rich Thai people, who don't know any better."

Another colonial mentality comment from a blogger "who do not know any better'. Jill, the rich Thais are there "to be seen", not to eat. Maybe you should have known that already.

Jil Wrinkle said...

No dummy. Thais who are out to be seen (and are worth seeing) go next door to Mantra and drop $100 on dinner instead of eat overpriced hamburgers in a plasticine tourist trap. Maybe YOU should have known that already before commenting.

Colonial mentality trumps colonial intelligence every time.

Anonymous said...

I personally think that the large NY steak is the only piece of meat in town resembling what I am used to paying $25 for in the USA. The Greek salad is unusual and good. The place was too noisy, I wrote a letter of complaint and the next time it was better.

I'm not sure, Jil, that you know what an American steak is. I have lived in Thailand over 5 years and recomment Henry J and the NY Steak to those who want a real American steak.

New Orleans was one of the worst steaks of my life. And, Bob's hamburgers were BIG, but tasted so much of a gamey seasoning that you could not even taste the beef.