Daily Report: Temple Fair

Great day of work today. After work had a beer with Mike.

At 8:00 it was off to the temple fair with Pui, Pot, Maid Go, and Mike's Riza. Pui was all excited about going. As we drove down the road all the way there, she would see her friends and call out, "Hi Nok! We're going to the temple fair!" "Hey Gob! Turn off the TV and come to the temple fair!"

The first thing Pui did was walk us straight to the massage tent, where she plopped me down in a chair and picked out the strongest hands in the house and had them massage my feet while she and Maid Go (and Pot) went and made merit at the temple. When my massage was finished, I bought Pot a plastic sword filled with blinking lights for $2.

After that, it was off to play on the bumper cars. Bumper cars in Thailand are a little bit different than they are in America. First of all, they go about twice as fast as the ones in America — about the speed of a brisk jog. They hit each other so hard that a high-speed collision right on the side of another car will heave that edge of the car a good 7 or 8 inches off the ground. It's not a gentle sport, and you will likely bruise something. Second, there is no wall around the bumper car arena. Everybody gathers round like it's a dance floor. You know it's your turn to drive when all the headlights on the cars go out. Then, without waiting for the cars to stop moving, everybody rushes out and jumps in on one side of the bumper car while the prior occupant gets out on the other side. If you don't get a car on the first try... get off the dance floor before you get run over, and wait for the next chance.

Oh and the best parts: There is no foot pedal accelerator — the car just goes as fast as it can until you turn off the electricity. And, there are no seatbelts. (Oh, and of course, we have Thai people and electricity again: When the bent hanger thingy pressing against the electrified overhead mesh stops working, the ride operators will come over, dodging speeding cars, and reach up and adjust it for you. If that doesn't work, they have a spare bent hanger thingy in their back pocket and will do a quick change out right on the spot to get you on your way.)

Can Pot go on the bumper cars? Why of course he can. As far as the ride operators are concerned, if Pot wishes to become a little 40-pound projectile in a high speed collision, that's his business... not theirs.

Pot hopped in a car with Riza before I had time to formulate the "why might this be a bad idea?" thought, and off they went. The first smack, and Pot bounced off the front padding. Second smack and he got up close and personal with the steering wheel. Of course, what could Riza do? She was in a car with a stuck accelerator and no brakes. One of the ride operators saw Pot's dilemma and came jogging out and sat down on the edge of the car and proceeded to prove that he is the Jackie Stewart of bumper cars by spending the next 4 minutes driving Riza and Pot around without a single collision.

Afterwards, Pot came staggering off the dance floor, rubbing his forehead where he bashed it on the steering wheel. "Can I go again mom?"

Instead, we put him on the little airplanes-go-in-a-circle ride for 15 minutes before calling it a night.