Sunday Dinner At Tony's

Big Tony invited me and Pui out to his house for Sunday dinner, English style. Stan drove us out since it is sort of too far to go by motorcycle... and definitely not a place you can find on your own without really good directions.

There were 6 couples for dinner, and it was easily the best dinner I have had since Christmas dinner at Bob's (and potentially better... shhh).

There was a monstrous roast beef with broiled potatoes and carrots, plus an astounding stuffing and Yorkshire pudding. A dark, thick gravy over all of it. There was cauliflower in cheese too. There were 4 or 5 other dishes that I never got to see because I "tucked in" while things were still getting set out, and I loaded my plate with what I mentioned above, and was too stuffed to get back for seconds. Then, there was trifle, and apple crisp with vanilla ice cream for desert. (The Thai girlfriends, of course, sat on the kitchen floor and made their own food as they chatted in their own language.)

After that, we all had an hour-long soak in the pool.

Pui hit it off quite excellently with Stan's wife, Mem, and Tony's wife, Pui. They all sat around on a mat on the kitchen floor sharing photos, listening to Thai music, buk-bukking away at the pappaya salad... and when all else failed, retiring to the living room, pulling out the Thai comic books, and reading them together.

As any expatriate will tell you, any successful bicultural couples social function always occurs the same way: The men sit around and drink beer and chat out front while the host gentleman (and his staff) handles the farang food preparation in the kitchen. The Thai ladies all retire to the back porch or the kitchen floor to chop vegetables and chat. The ladies have their meal in their own room when their food is ready. The men have their meal in their own room when their food is ready.

Every once in a while... every couple of hours or so, that is... it is the duty of the man to get up, wander back to the kitchen, and stand behind his girlfriend so that the other girls can see how caring he is, and the girlfriend can talk about out how chubby her boyfriend is getting, or point out the new shirt she picked out for him. If the man knows some Thai, he'll make a remark or two in Thai and all the other ladies will murmur their approval, and the girlfriend will be very proud.

Every once in a while... every 15 minutes or so, that is... it is the duty of the woman to wander out to the front patio to make sure her man's drink isn't empty, that he hasn't spilled something on himself, doesn't need first aid, more cigarettes, or just a gentle pat on the shoulder. Then she will stand for a minute so that the other men can see how caring she is, and the man can talk about how they are planning a trip to Singapore together, or building a shed out back for the in-laws. The woman will say something like, "Darling, you look very hot, can I get you a cool towel, or would you like a cup of tea?" The other men will murmur their approval, and the boyfriend will be very proud.

After the party, Stan and I, Pui and Mem, went back to Stan's house. Stan and I left the girls to watch TV and chat, while we went out to TQ2 for about 5 rounds, and then over to Champion where I was told we would only have one drink. What that actually meant is that Stan would buy us one drink. Then Jew, the owner, would buy us one drink, then Stan's friend would buy us one drink, and then Jew's friend would buy us one drink.

Fortunately, Pui called me as the fourth round was getting set down in front of me (I hadn't finished the second, or started the third yet). "Where are you? Mem wants to go to sleep. I want to go home."

So, already exhausted, full of food, full of beer, I made my excuses and called it a night, went and picked Pui up, and went home.

Pui was funny when she got home. She was so excited to have made some new friends, her mouth was going a mile a minute in incomprehensible English. "My friend you like want Pui go poong nee eat tomorrow OK no problem she talk Stan eat fishing too much sanook MAHK!"

I numbly nodded my head into the pillow and turned off the light. I could literally hear Pui's brain working as I fell asleep.