Trip Report: Laos Day 4, Whupped

We were up early, and piled into the back of an open-air van with half a dozen plastic kayaks strapped on top. We rode about 15 miles upriver to a spot where we would begin our boat journey back. The weather was gloomy, with clouds obscuring the tops of the nearby mountains... but so far it wasn't raining.


Pot didn't have a paddle except for
this picture. He just rode along and
had fun the rest of the time.I was happy to learn that Green Adventure Tours had assigned us an extra kayak guide just to ferry Pot around. I had been a little nervous about kayaking with Pot: Not that he couldn't swim... or float with his life vest on... but that if we went in the water, I might have a problem focusing on keeping him, myself, my paddle, and the boat all within arm's reach. So that problem was solved.

Pot was a little upset that he wouldn't be getting to ride with Pui and me, but the guide assigned to babysit him was a fine fellow, and an expert rower, and made sure that he took Pot through the splashiest part of the river... and after about 30 seconds of pouting after leaving shore, Pot spent the rest of the day with a mile-wide grin welded to his face.



Rain clouds following us down the river
made for pretty awesome scenery.The river was a lot calmer this year as compared to last year's trip down the river. There wasn't one cascade or rapid that seemed at all dangerous as far as rocks sticking out or anything of that sort. Added to that was the fact that this year we had the yellow plastic kayaks instead of the red inflatable ones, which Rick informed me (and I agreed immediately) are much easier to steer and are much faster. (The yellow plastic kayaks do tip over much more easily though, as happened three times to our group today: twice to Rick's students, Cara and Peggy, once to Rick and Da.)

The weather was a bit damp, and throughout the day it drizzled on and off... but the scenery was still awe-inspiring, and we still had great fun. Pot was even happy to wear his rain coat during the showers, though that was only a couple of times. All of us laughed and joked and paddled and splashed and chatted and relaxed and enjoyed ourselves as we made our way down the river.


Elephant cave is a Buddhist
shrine with an elephant-
shaped rock formation.Our first stop was the Elephant Cave, which has a rock formation that... yes... looks like an elephant. That first stop was only about 10 minutes down the river from our starting point, and after just that short period, my arms, legs, and back were killing me. The long-legged, straight-kneed sitting position was murder. Fortunately, while there was considerable pain at the end of the day, the first bits of pain that I experienced at the Elephant Cave were mostly of the "warming up" variety. After a Beer Lao at the concession stand near the cave, the rest of the day went by fairly painlessly.

Our second stop was for lunch, at a pretty Lao country home, where we were served fried rice on a banana leaf instead of a plate, along with some beef shish kebab and baguette. We all had Beer Lao as well.


Mulberry leaves... They're not
just for silk worms anymore.Our third stop was at the organic farm, which has lots of different kinds of fruit trees, lots of traditional crafts going on, and yet another place to have some Beer Lao. We also had deep-fried mulberry leaves with honey for dipping, which was quite interesting.


The cave entrance, and Da.Our fourth stop down the river was at yet another cave. This one actually goes back about half a mile or so, a substantial portion of which is in chest-deep water, and the tour guides like to keep it as dark as possible, and make it a little scary. Pui and I had done that cave last year, and Rick and Da weren't in the mood either, and we didn't want Pot going in the cave (on that one, Pui and I agreed) so we headed to another nearby bar and had Beer Lao while Willie, Kak, and Rick's four students went through the cave.


The rope swing bars along
the river are lots of fun.

Willie and Kak.

Rick and Da.

Red and yellow kayaks.Our fifth stop on the river was only about 3 or 4 minutes past the cave stop, and that was the riverside rope swing beer bar. Out of all the hip and cool places on earth, this is by far the hippest and the coolest. At the base of this 1000-foot cliff lies a little cove, above which stands an all-bamboo bar playing reggae dance music, with dozens of people sitting around drinking, and in between sips, walking out this long plank, up onto this platform, grabbing hold of a trapeze, and swinging out over the water in a wide arc, and then vaulting through thin air to land with a big splash. It is sort of like MTV's Spring Break meets Gilligan's Island.

So we pulled in there, ordered a Beer Lao, and all of Rick's student's went zooming off into the air. Even Peggy, a 50-something elementary school reading teacher took flight.

Then Da (Rick's wife) went on the swing, which wasn't too surprising, as she had done the same thing last year.

Then Kak (Willie's wife) went... which surprised us all, as she can be a bit uptight, nervous, and a worry wort.

Then meek and timid Pui started climbing the tower, and we all gasped, certain that she had lost her mind.

She hemmed and hawed, and backed away from the edge on several occasions, and everybody at the bar was watching poor Pui trying to get up the courage to go for it. And finally, once the entire crowd was cheering her on, Pui let out a blood-curdling scream, and flew through the damp afternoon air, and went kerplunk in the river. She swam to shore showered by congratulatory applause, with a look on her face that seemed to suggest she was questioning her sanity for having done such a thing.


If you listen hard enough, even
though this is a photograph, you
can hear the terrified screams.Still though, for the rest of the day, it was all she could talk about... and I was really proud of her. (And yes... of course, I went on the rope swing as well.)

After leaving the rope swing bar, it was only a couple of miles back downstream to Vang Vieng, where we beached our kayaks for the last time, tipped our guides, went back to Green Adventure Tours office and changed out of our wet clothes and into dry ones, had another Beer Lao at the bar next door, and then packed into our van, and completed our 3-hour trip back to Vientiane, arriving at just before 9:00.

Although sore and tired, none of us were ready to go to sleep, so we headed out to Khop-chai-deu, an upscale restaurant, and had dinner. I had a pizza, and a pitcher of Lao punch ($3.60 for 1.5 liters... the best drink deal in Vientiane). Then, it was back to the hotel where I took a couple of pain killers and climbed into a hot tub before moving into a warm bed at about midnight.