Discomfort With Ladyboys

(This post was prompted after going to TQ2 tonight, where there was a wet T-shirt contest, and then joking with one of the judges afterwards that one of the girls was actually a "ladyboy" (there were actually none) to which he had a most paranoid, unsettled and negative reaction.)

Everybody who lives in Pattaya for any length of time eventually becomes acquainted with at least one ladyboy. There are so many in this town, it is inevitable. Either they are doing your laundry at their cousin's shop, serving you at KFC, or... yes... apparently even keeping some of you happy in bed.

It's a popular subject among the newly-arrived here in Pattaya: The transgendered. Mostly negative subject matter actually. Guys like this usually immiately snap to talk of anal sex and penises and other crudities which they fixate upon when confronted by these effiminate people among us, as if a ladyboy is nothing more than a walking sexual act. They resort to old, masculine reaffirming pablum about their own behavior and their own penises and their own sense of self worth and how it relies on never, ever, ever getting within 10 feet of somebody who would try to flutter their eyelids and purse their lips and cause a man to (for even a moment) find the "wrong person" attractive.

But, among the residents here, such talk is kind of like telling Pollack jokes: The jokes are funny except that you know that Poles aren't really like that. The expats smile and nod and simply encourage the newbies to stay away from Jenny Star Bar, but privately they are thinking about how they had a blast getting drunk with Pim down at the local convenience store one night, or how great Ning irons their shirts, or how their wife's best friend, Ahm, fixed their front gate without charge, or just the fact that Nok down the road is really just plain pretty... all ladyboys.

The ignorant pass judgement: They judge the ladyboys as being deceitful and warped; they judge the ladyboy's male farang friends as being gay; they judge themselves as being gullible (or even gay) when they find themselves accidentally attracted to a ladyboy. Those who are not ignorant... those who are comfortable with themselves are able to see past the sex and see instead the gender; are able to understand that friendship and companionship are not defined by genitals; and are able to laugh at their own mistakes or misconceptions of gender here in the Land of Smiles.

It's simple: Relax. Nobody in Pattya is going to rape you. Nobody in Pattaya is going to laugh at you if you talk to a ladybody by accident. Nobody in Pattaya is going to laugh at you if you talk to a ladybody on purpose. Nobody in Pattaya is going to assume you are having sex with a ladyboy just because you are friends with a ladyboy. Nobody in Pattaya is going to stop being your friend because you are nice to ladyboys. Nobody in Pattaya will think you are more of a man by belittling those who aren't manly. Nobody in Pattaya will think you are less of a man if you don't.