Sleeping Dogs

You don't get a lot of bullshit background stories from people in Pattaya. Or, more accurately, you don't hear people tell you things about their lives that cause you to instantly think, "that's bullshit." When you do hear bullshit, you just nod your head, and go along with the joke... mostly out of politeness. (Besides, here in Pattaya, you never know when somebody might actually be telling the truth, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.)

Therefore, when this young guy came into TQ2 last night and started telling everyone he was a Special Forces instructor working on fighting terrorism with the Thai government, everyone just kind of listened, nodded their heads, and went along with it.

However, the Russian hooker in the $8 cocktail dress who was so juiced up on yaa-baa pills that she was having borderline maniacal spasms, who came in with this guy and was playing along with her date's "let's-make-shit-up" game, was even more over the top. "Oh, I'm working with Russian intelligence doing drug enforcement here in Thailand."

Now, as a rule, illegal-alien doped-up Russian hookers are not the kind of people you want to antagonize in Pattaya, because they might go running to their illegal-alien doped-up Russian mobster boyfriends. Therefore, when one of my friends told the girl, as she and her date were leaving, "I'm going to have you checked out to see if your story is for real." I nearly fell out of my chair. The bleach-blonde yaa-baa addict nearly blew a vein out of her forehead she was so angry. Fortunately, Mr. Special Forces Bullshit Artist didn't hear what my friend said, or lord knows what might have happened.

Most likely the hooker was more frightened of having to explain to her pimp that she got herself (and him) in deep shit because she was shooting her mouth off in a bar, more than she was interested in doing anything to my friend, but there is such a thing as bad luck, and god knows you can find it in Pattaya.

People come to Pattaya from all over the planet for all kinds of reasons. If you don't think you are hearing the real reason from a person, the second to last thing you should do is tell them that you don't believe they are telling the truth. The absolutely last thing you should do is tell them that you intend to find out what the truth is.