Daily Report: Stupid Farang

I was on my way with Pui and Pot to go window shopping for televisions along Sukhimvit Road. I was in the middle of the left-most lane (the lane closest to the curb, for you in America) when — whoops — here comes my turn. I quickly turned on my turn signal and started to turn.

"Ayy!!!" I hear in my left ear. Somebody was trying the fateful tactic of passing on the inside. I hit my brakes, and abandoned any thought of turning. Two things happened at once: A motorcycle went whooshing past me on my left, and a brand-new Range Rover, seeing my turn signal, and thinking it safe to pull out, turned into the road. Whooshing motorcycle on my left went kerplunk, smack into the front fender of said Range Rover, and fell over.

So this lanky, Indian-looking American kid stood up. (He was talking before he even hit the ground, so his accent was apparent.) I parked my motorcycle, and walked over to see if he (and the Range Rover) were alright. He seemed to be shaken up but uninjured. The Range Rover had a minor mark on the plastic fender guard. The Thai lady driving the SUV was closely inspecting for any further damage.

Seeing that in general there was no harm done, I figured we're finished here.

"Wait a minute," American kid says, "you can't leave."

"Why not?" I ask.

"She's calling the police," he replies.

At that point, I figured I might as well just smooth things over. The kid was the typical penniless, dive-school student who could ill afford a conversation with the police. I just wanted to go look at televisions and not spend 30 minutes bearing witness to another farang's stupidity. "Let's each give her 500 baht, and consider it settled," I suggested. American kid made some comment about being able to ill-afford 500 baht, and about how — anyway — it was all my fault. I countered with the observation that passing on the inside wasn't the smartest idea, and he handed over his 500 baht. I gave Miss Range Rover the 1000 baht. Granted, it was more of a token apology then true restitution... but since there was no real damage, I figured it was fair enough.

She wasn't satisfied.

At this time, American Kid decided to make a run for it. He hopped on his motorcycle and took off. Miss Range Rover of course wrote down his license plate number.

A simple rule in Thailand: If you are dealing with an upset Thai lady who drives a $100,000 Range Rover, you don't just take off on her. Anyone in Thailand who has the ability to pay that kind of money for an SUV most certainly has the ability to hunt you down.

Anyway, after a few more minutes of me pointing out that basically the "damage" to the plastic on the Range Rover's fender was more just the place where the dust had been scrubbed off by American Kid's chin, and that if the police came, they would quickly conclude the same thing, and also pointing out that I (as the lady was nice enough to admit) had nothing to do with the accident, she decided that that was the end of my involvement with it.

Of course, the stupid American kid who took off before being granted his leave probably will not be so lucky... if I am any judge of pissed-off Thai Ladies who drive $100,000 Range Rovers. Best of luck to him.