Pui told me that the police want her brother (see yesterday's entry below) to cough up 30,000 baht ($750) in fines and hospital bills or else go straight to jail. Yesterday, Pui was quite happy that her brother might spend some time in jail and get straightened out, but today when given another option, Pui (more accurately... Pui's family) was happy to take it.
Pui actually never asked me for any money... didn't even tell me about the fine. She just told me that she wanted to go to Petchabun to help out in this family emergency. It was only after prodding that I learned that she was going up there to take out a 30,000 baht mortgage on some property that she and her family owns.
That pissed me off because while the family may be spending their own money to bail their fuckup son out of jail, it's theoretically my money since my remittances (via Pui) represent about 90% of their disposable income every month... and I specifically told Pui yesterday that in no way was I going to help bail her brother out of jail.
So much for that plan.
I yelled. I berated Pui. I told her that if she and her family did this, I'd never give them another penny until they came up with 30,000 baht on their own to pay off this debt. All Pui did was go off by herself and cry about it, but she didn't change her mind. That's about what I expected though.
Thus, I changed my mind... like I expected. (I did all the yelling and threatening first off because Pui and I, as a couple, in this instant, were setting the famous Thai-lady-Farang-man "bail out the family" precedent, and I wanted to make sure that that precedent would forevermore be sitting on the far side of class-A, hard-core, relationship-threatening argument.)
I'm getting my tax refund back in a few weeks, and it was my intention to give 50,000 baht of that money to Pui's family. Since I plan on giving them a 50,000 baht gift in a few weeks... which no matter how much I complain about, would be used to pay off the 30,000 baht mortgage, it seemed to me that my problem was not so much about giving them money, but the fact that they were going to waste it on their idiot son.
Once I rationalized the fact that my problem wasn't the money... just the fashion in which it was going to be spent, it was a little easier to decide to save Pui the hassle of mortgaging her family property to keep her brother out of jail (and avoid having to pay the intererest on the loan) by giving her the money immediately, and deducting it from the future 50,000 baht gift.
So I am doing what every farang eventually winds up doing at some point when dealing with his adopted Thai family: I am gritting my teeth, reaching in my wallet, and rationalizing my way back to the Thai state of "chai yen"... the cool heart. Pui's family is now getting a 30,000-baht advance on the gift they had coming, and I'm not going to worry myself with what they waste it on.
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2 comments:
Reminds me of a story from a Friend who married a Thai and moved her to England .
She got a urgent phone call one night , that her son had been involved in an accident . She was told he was okay but was in jail because he caused the accident and they wouldnt let him out until he paid up . Cant remember the exact amount but it wasnt as high as the figure you mention .
Anyway , my friend was adamant that he was not paying ,but his wife had a job working in a local restaurant and had saved some money , so she sent the amount .
Three days later she phoned home to speak to her son , who unfortunately was still in jail , as the family had decided the money could be spent better elsewhere .
Eventually she sent over, and to this day she still sends money home .
Amazing Thailand.
I`m married to a thai woman and we live in Sweden. We too have bailed out her son from jail once after a motorcycle accident, I think it was 10 000 baht.
Her daughter is living here in Sweden with us and she is constant troubles for us, she is 19 years old by the way. So I would like to say to everybody who are planning to bring their wife´s teenage kids to Farangland - do not do that. They will most likely make cause you trouble and it seems like these thai youngsters can´t find happiness here anyway so it´s better if they stay in Thailand. You can arrange with some relativ in Thailand so the child can live there and you can send money each month so you know the kid is alright. I think that´s best for all parties. I also think if the child is younger, let´s say under 10 years it probably works better so then you should do it, go ahead and bring the kid to Farangland.
Thanks for your interesting and entertaining blog. Take care.
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